Love is what makes you smile when you're tired......
I'm not usually one for keeping to strict training schedules, usually starting off with good intentions only to get bored a couple of weeks in, chop and change my mind a bit, move to a different schedule, take nice bits from one and discard the horrible bits, then glue it together with a different one....basically, I'm terrible at following training plans.
Usually the plan comes first, then you follow it. With me the running usually comes first and then the training plan morphs around it - I can hear the sharp intake of every coaches breath in the land, and visualise them shaking their heads with despair.
In normal life, I'm really strict with myself. I have routines for everything, which I guess comes from being a busy Mum/wife. I like to think it's being organised, but really I'm just a borderline OCD'er. I also have a compulsive personality disorder - I think a lot of sports people do, they have to in order to succeed. Don't they?
Having a compulsive, addictive personality has it's drawbacks. We are generally difficult to live with, can never focus on one thing for very long, and our minds race at 100mph most of the time. We conduct several conversations at once because of our inability to concentrate for long periods of time. We live for the moment and rarely plan stuff. We are spontaneous, reckless even, and frequently thoughtless towards those close to us. And then there are times when we withdraw completely, avoid interaction with anyone other than our families, and prefer our own company.
For a long time I thought being like this was an inconvenience. However, being a generally positive person, I like to think of having this sort of personality as a blessing in disguise. If I'd been 'normal' I wouldn't have done some of the things I've done which I believe have shaped me into the person I am today
It's a pity I don't have the discipline to follow a strict training plan - I often wonder if I've got the potential to get any better and if I'm short changing myself by not committing to one, or a coach......then I think nah, do my own thing.
I do it because I love it, it's always been part of me, and there's a possibility I'd get too obsessed with hitting certain sessions, and depressed if I didn't. Actually, I've been guilty of just that in the past.
It's at times like these when I'm actually glad I'm fully aware of having a compulsive personality. After last years spectacular burnout, and the subsequent conditions I now have to live with because of my stupidity, Inow fully understand my triggers so I can take a step back and re-asses the situation rather than ploughing on with sessions regardless. I see it happen a lot, and I also see people over training, obsessing, and getting depressed because of it. It happened to me. It'd took the enjoyment out of it for me so for now, I'll do as I please. If that means I'm going to be a BOP'er for the rest of my running days, then so be it.
We never stop learning and it's good to challenge ourselves from time to time. If we did the same things, day in day out, we'd get the same results. It's interesting to see how minor changes to the daily routine can have major effects.
The lessons I learnt from last year aren't anything profound, they aren't going to set the world alight, they didn't need much research, and they were all common sense. But, sometimes we need to experience them just have that 'aaah' light bulb moment, and to prove that what we hear through the research of experts, or read in books which have been researched by these afore mentioned clever people, is usually, in a round about way, true.
We're like children though. Our parents tell us not to touch a hot stove but we do. Once we have, we know that's it's not bright to touch it again. This is where the learning curve comes in. I love learning, finding out things for myself, about myself, and discovering new things and new ways of approaching challenges and overcoming problems.
In brief I learnt that sleep, rest, recovery, and nutrition are paramount to delivering adequate results on the training ground. Sounds obvious but I think a lot of athletes mind sets are to push on regardless of how they feel. I did this last year when something was obviously wrong and which then led to complete exhaustion. It pays to listen to your body otherwise you end up injured and ill. However, I realised there is a fine line between feeling a bit sore and tired where you can run through it and sometimes record really satisfying sessions but choosing to bin it, and being completely lazy and negative and binning it anyway.
Recovery and rest is of the utmost importance. Sometimes it might feel like I can't contain my mojo, but learned it's better to reign it in and keep it simmering. I needed recovery and rest days during heavy training periods to absorb the workload I'd put my body through in previous days....unfortunately rest was a rude word for me last year.
Nutrition and hydration are a weakness of mine. I frequently go for long runs not bothering to hydrate beforehand, during, or after and rarely fuel up beforehand either. For certain things this is OK, for example if I want to train my system to use my fat stores for fuel during long runs. However, if I'm doing anything other than long slow running, I need to pay attention to eating and drinking enough.
As a point of interest, I read that the average person has fat reserves, enough to run 40 marathons without taking on any fuel. Sort of challenges the other research which suggests the only reason people hit the wall in marathons is because they only have enough fat stores to get them to 20 miles.
Wondering why I run. I decided that I'm intrinsically (is that a word?) motivated. I do it for the love of it; I do it because I get excited about trying out new ways to train and getting the same, or different results; I do it because it captures my attention; I love the feeling of challenging myself.
I believe that I'd run even if there was nothing at stake. I could go out and run 50 marathons in 50 days (theoretically of course as I have no intention of doing that whatsoever)) and it would satisfy me as long as I got out of it what I'd set out to get. I might do an 40x400m session, and would, just to see what will happen to my body, to my mind....
I'm not interested in trophies, or the medals, although I have got a secret t-shirt/goody bag affliction.
I wonder if there are more intrinsic or extrinsic people around? I presume there are more of the latter? Crowds cheering at events don't motivate me to go faster, and don't really inspire me. It's nice but I've ran many more races where there are no crowds cheering and have enjoyed them more. In fact, I actually get embarrassed in the last 200m or so of any race which has a large crowd cheering the competitors through the finish. For me, that's the worst part of the race. A lot of people I know love that part, throw their arms up, high five the crowd, wave, and engage in banter. For me it's head down and get it over with as quickly as possible.
I'm odd.
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